Recently, my family had an experience no one can adequately prepare for: the death of a child.

My mind immediately went to John 11:35. This is the shortest verse in the Bible. It simply states, “Jesus wept.”

In context, Jesus had just been informed that his close friend Lazarus had died. And it’s of particular interest to me that Jesus was there when the universe was created. Jesus had already seen the book of Revelation unfold. Jesus knew his friend would be alive again in a matter of minutes, but he still wept over the loss. Jesus even already had a track record of raising the dead from the previous miracle involving Jairus’s daughter.

I find this very comforting in that it shows Jesus intimately knows what it means to lose a loved one. While the Victorian Era gave the impression that “thou shalt not emote” was an eleventh commandment—perpetuated by books like Mary Lawson’s Crow Lake—it is certainly not biblical. Jesus wept! The term weep goes far beyond a tear or two, describing an experience so deep that the person’s breathing and sometimes even physical abilities, like standing, are affected.

Less than a week later, our family grew again with the birth of a baby. The only way I can think of to navigate the roller coaster of this is recorded for us in the book of Job, chapter 1:21.

While no one wants that to be a literal reality, it was for our family.

So what else did I learn?

My nephew was a very special child. At not quite two years old, Oliver certainly didn’t have a multi-million dollar fortune to leave behind from a business empire. In fact, he was not yet able to do many of the things his one-year-old cousin could do. This, however, in no way impaired his ability to leave behind an enormous legacy.

The two biggest parts of his legacy can be described as love and faith.

His personality was best described as “I’m a lover, not a fighter.” If another child took his toy, it was rare for him to cry—he just chose another toy. He lit up every room he entered, as his joyful personality filled the space so completely that even people who proclaimed to dislike young children couldn’t stop themselves from smiling in his presence. But this isn’t the whole story. The truth is that he was also a warrior. Ollie fought for every moment he was with us. From needing surgery on the first day of life to learning the things he did, life was an uphill battle—one that he embraced with delight. His hugs were also notable; he learned early that he could hug tighter if he grabbed your arm than if he tried to wrap around your whole body—and he did this often.

His faith was equally evident. We had noticed early on that he was often interacting with things we could not see—for example, staring with delight at a blank ceiling, chattering as if having the best conversation ever. While songs like “The Wheels on the Bus” and “Five Little Ducks” got smiles and giggles, for him nothing could beat “Jesus Loves Me” or “Indescribable.” The peace they brought him was truly remarkable. Regardless of the precipitating factors, we knew that these two songs could bring back his calm. Anytime someone sneezed, he liked to make sure they heard Numbers 6:24–26.

This experience also further entrenched my knowledge that God’s plans aren’t always immediately evident. Those who have followed my articles will know that I have been battling intense personal illness, to the extent that it made me unable to continue my position and required me to move closer to my family. While I knew God had a purpose for allowing the illness, the why escaped me completely. Now I know: being sick meant I got to wake up to his warmth every day for over a year, to be a familiar enough person to be on the receiving end of those hugs, to be able to celebrate his life—because I was part of it in a way I couldn’t have been if I was healthy and still living several hours away. While sickness was not part of my plan, God used it for His glory and my good.

In honour of Oliver’s birthday—born July 16, 2023—we remember a life that brought light, love, and laughter in just a short time. May God bless you and keep you, may He make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May God bless you, and keep you, and give you peace.